He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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