just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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