I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
