In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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