dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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