Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize