I cut my penus on the lid.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
