the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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