did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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