hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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