The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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