the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
