Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
