They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
