Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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