i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
