playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
