i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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