at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
