You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
