You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
if only i could text you this smell
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
