Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
