if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.