"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch