Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."