Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.