Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
