you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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