were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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