I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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