I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize