five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We left the knife in your bed.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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