no. you can't hotbox the world.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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