Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
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I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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