I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
