Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
