We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize