I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
