Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he puts the penis in happiness.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
