We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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