Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
