i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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