Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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