so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
