Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
