dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize