plz talk dirty to me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
