The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
