I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize