i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
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the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE