her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
