is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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