she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just puked most of my soul out..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
