I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
