birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
A+ Viking dick
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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