Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
