You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
