No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize