I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
